Cycles of Life

Pangs of Outrageous Fortune
If you hang around older riders enough you get drawn into the pangs, pains, laments, what-I-used-to-be's, and any other whine and complaint imaginable discussion. We do this because we were once virile and indestructible. Now we're rife with ailments and aches large and small and we just don't think that's fair.

We've all heard someone say, "thank goodness I have my health." But, what if that's a quote we can't use for a while? The longer you're on this earth, the more likely that something is going to tap you on the shoulder and say, "hey pal, I'm here to remind you of your tentative state in the grand scheme of things. You're just mortal flesh and bone."

Let me reveal a couple of exasperating truths. First, growing older is a pain in the butt, physically. Our bodies don't recover as quickly as they used to and our abilities diminish. Second, some of us get tossed some difficult hereditary things to deal with, or we've done enough stupid stuff in our youth to leave us tattered in our dotage. Our health becomes an issue more and more, slapping us in the face, whether we like it or not. What we could have once overlooked is now, sometimes literally, pounding at us with relentless fervor.

Athletes' Feat
I think some of these issues are also particularly difficult for highly active people. We define much of who we are by our ability to get out there day after day and wail. The days, weeks, or months when wailing is not possible throws us into confusion and languid torpor. Sometimes the new successes are measured in the ability to simply do. And simply doing does not in any way match the once wailing self.

Perseverance
I attended a day long heart conference recently for those of us who have received the gift of an Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator (ICD). These are the computer devices plopped in your upper chest with wires running into your heart that will revive you in the event of an arrhythmic tachycardia (mild) or fibrillation (severe).

There were many speakers that day, among other activities, but I really enjoyed the group session. Men met with men, women with women, kids with kids, and spouses of recipients with other spouses. These were basically a mix of group therapy and information updates. We all have our specific issues and concerns to deal with. In my group, Dr. Good (the doctor who implanted my device--great name, huh?), a therapist, a device salesman, a nurse, and a number of ICD recipients sat around a large table and talked defibrillators. It's not the kind of session you want to sign up for, but once that little shocker is part of your life, it's a good place to be.

The most surprising aspect of the session for me was the realization that, though my heart issue was a big event in my life (see DirtHammer 911 in the 2007 section of this blog), there are those who have had to deal with much more serious heart issues than I had ever dreamed of. And many in that room had done so since they were children or at least beginning at a much younger phase in their lives than I had. Most of them were not athletes, though they looked surprisingly good for men who have struggled with heart disease for a long time. Most were in middle or advanced middle age, though there was one dynamic young guy with a good sense of humor who was about 18.

The only other athlete besides me was the moderator, Kevin, who liked to race in triathlons. He did look fit. He'd also had an ICD since 2000. It had gone off--which means a shock to the heart--a number of times, often falsely, scaring the heck out of him. Worse it did so twice while he was training in a pool.

False shocks have been one of the few downsides of these devices. My sense is that they are becoming less common as the technology advances, but any shock, from reports of all who've had them, is psychologically devastating. The pain is apparently crushingly intense (it's compared to getting kicked in the chest by a horse), but it's the realization that your heart needs assistance that is most sobering. Most of us get these ICDs hoping that they'll never go off. We want to think that our hearts are okay, but just in case...

When that just-in-case occurs it leaves an emotional scar that lasts longer than the physical shock. It's a reminder of our mortality, and who wants that reality check? Most of us would put an X in the "No Thank You" box. But for some of us that box is X'd in whether we like it or not.

Forever Young
For athletes, the sense of immortality is often what keeps us going. We're often younger looking, or at least more physically spry and toned, than our peers because we tend not to have their double chins, beer bellies or cellulite hips. Athletic endeavors, in themselves, can be redeeming when our bodies are young and our abilities seemingly boundless. Even as we age, some of us can still gladly put the hurt on our younger counterparts. I've been in races or on rides where my body has lifted to levels I didn't know were possible, then lifted again. It truly is one of the most amazing feelings a human can have. Through our own discipline and hard work we find someone within ourselves who is in some ways not even us. It is, for those few moments or hours, the best of who we dreamed we could be.

Then again, part of the reason we advance to such levels is due to heredity. We tap into a sport that will bring the best out of us due to our particular body type and ability. Some of us are built for endurance, some for short bursts of raw power, some with amazing coordination, some with the facility to rebound easily after intense physical stress. And beyond the obvious external physical attributes, there are unseen connections within us, synapses firing, brain cells sending signals, muscles soaking up their chemical requirements with utmost efficiency, and hearts sending amazing amounts of oxygen replenishing relief throughout the body.

Whether we like it or not, this whole system becomes less efficient as we age. Some, through discipline and good genes, are able to carry along at high levels for many years. There are always those who seem to go on and on, even putting their much younger companions into a struggle to keep up. Then there are those whose abilities fade dramatically no matter how hard they try to keep the level high.

Most competitive athletes are, pause here, competitive. They're out there to win, or at least they have a hope of winning even if most of the odds are against them. What if that's no longer possible? Does it mean we have to give up? That's a tough call. It's up to each individual and to their ability to accept their humble place in the grand scheme. Kevin's goal, quite often, is not to finish last in any race he enters.

Maybe, when it all comes down to it, it's not really about aging, or genes. It's not about the race or our place in the standings. It's about the fight. It's about the challenge. It's about perseverance. It's about taking what you have and still living life as best you can.

It's also about health. Most of the men in that ICD group session weren't athletes and couldn't be even if they wanted to. And if they are, their abilities are compromised to some degree. We met for only an hour or two. I didn't know any of them before that day. I wasn't with any of them long enough to determine if they were leading happy, fulfilling lives. On the whole, though, our discussion wasn't about their inadequacies, but about what's available to make their lives as normal as possible. These people were getting on with their lives. Medical technology is amazing enough these days to often make that possible.

I haven't read all of It's Not About the Bike (sorry, Lance, I'll get there one of these days), but I do know others who've fought back, or are currently fighting back, from some debilitating disability or disease. I do think that some things are tossed our way to test our character. I also know that there are often other people with greater struggles than our own. When it comes down to it, though, most of us still want to return to some semblance of where we were before we descended from our heights (even if those heights were humble to begin with). For many of us that is not as possible as we'd like it to be, but we still have hope and desire mulling around in the back of our thoughts. Sometimes that hope is enough to sustain us until we return to be the best that we can be.

Yet, sometimes, we don't get anywhere near where we once were, due to age or health or both. At that point we need to pull out a pair of reassessment goggles and look around us. Where are we in that grand scheme? Sure, it's disappointing to think we can't be what we'd once dreamed, but maybe there's a better dream. In that dream we'll find newer and more sustainable goals, perhaps even more fulfilling ones. Maybe the most important thing is that we're back out there, or we're preparing to be.

I'd be curious to hear other voices and opinions on this matter. I mean, after all, who am I to say? I'm not old, nor--like most of us--do I plan on getting old. And as to health, I look to people like Kevin. He perseveres.

There are many individuals in the photos above who are amazingly young despite their age.

La Ruta 2009

After riding over volcanoes and through cow piss, Ben Bostrom says, "I'm not touching that water bottle." With all his other issues in this race he has a problem with cow widdle? What's a little bacteria in the grand scheme of things?

Four days. Over 18 hours of racing through the wild lands and wild weather of Costa Rica. Whew!

Check out this video--and other videos--from cyclingdirt.org.

Cycling Videos on CyclingDirt

Cyclocross Barrier-Free?

Deterrent, Impediment, Encumbrance, Hinderance
Maybe it's time to reconsider barriers in cyclocross. Let's face it, they get in the way. I've read complaints lately about their nuisance factor. It's true. They slow things down. They make you get off the bike. That's inconvenient.

I have some options:

• Ramp them. If two barriers are used, spread them farther apart and ramp up to them, then ramp back down. Or, put them closer together, ramp up, ride across a non-slip surface, then ramp comfortably back down.
  

• I've seen photos of races in Oregon with five or more barriers in a row. Blasphemy. Unless, that is, they have the non-slip top platform installed. (Sounds like the beginning of a cottage industry to me.)

Cover These, No-Slip

• Introduce the no-barrier option. Offer a path to ride alongside for those who don't want to use barriers . That's done on singletrack mountain bike trails all the time with logs and other obstacles. There's no shame in staying on the bike. Zig-zagging through would allow for some interesting encounters. Whoops, scratch that. That adds another challenge and our goal here is to ease the riders' anxieties. (Though it is called cycloCROSS).

Around-the-Side-Option

• Declare a no-barrier-at-the-bottom-of-hill-rule. Who came up with run-ups anyway? Let the toughest prove they can make it up that wall still clipped in. Barrier laced run-ups create too much equality in the race. It's like Woody Allen's comment about having children (paraphrasing here), any fool can run-up and usually does. For crying out loud, even C racers can do it!

• Don't allow the publication of photos from the early days of cyclocross where racers carried their bikes through brambles, up forested hills, and across ravines. It gives the sense that CX is about ungainly, sometimes odd, often ruthless, challenge. For that matter, don't look at the current European race courses with their wickedly strewn run for your life obstacles.

• Allocate some races as clip-in only. Anyone caught unclipping will be put in the penalty box (borrowing from another sport here) and mercilessly cowbelled for a specified period of time.

I See Ouch In This Man's Future

• Make the barriers lower. Two, three inches tops. Who made the standard 16" height anyway? It's like, three people in the world can hop them regularly. The rest of us are made to figure out how to get off, jump, and look graceful as we stutter step up, bumble over, and fumble back on. All with--get this--bike in hand. I have had an occasion or two when, on remount, I missed the saddle altogether and landed on the 32mm Grifo Challenge. Ouch! Yes, there are remount issues, even if you do make it to the saddle. Particularly perilous for boys. Besides, if we really wanted to hurdle we'd be in track, not CX. There's a lot more money in track, by the way.

Should We Limit the Number of Those Who Can Cross Barriers at One Time?

• It would be more civilized to pass the bikes on to handlers before we encounter the barriers, so we wouldn't have to carry our bikes over. They'd smoothly run them to the other side for us, handing them back (perhaps with a bit of mud wiped free?). As bikers we don't lift much, so why create that strain? Should our arms hurt more than our legs after the race is over?
  

• Logs: ban them. They're dirty and they have knots.

They Climbed the Fence?

A Modest Proposal
Or, we can work with reshaping the term itself because I think that's where the crux of the problem lies. The word barrier is so laden with the weight of its own baggage. Think about it, barriers imply an impediment to progress, an obstacle in the way of change.

So, what about changing the name. We can call them Opportunities. We approach them with change (dismount) and an uplift (leap). What can be more positive? We fly over them, and what can be more free than flight, even for those few fleeting moments? That, above all, is mud in the face of any obstacle. And when we've had our flight, we leap back into the saddle to propel ourselves forward toward new opportunities.

Flying!

Yes, oh yes, my fellow CXers, we shall overcome (that...hunky...thing).

Next week we'll tackle weather. It's time we stood up to cold, rain, mud, and snow. Make your chattering voice heard. Brrr.

So, How Was Iceman 2009?

Lines
I wasn't there this year, so I can't say anything about it, but the sheer numbers at Iceman must have made for a major tirerubber. Judging by the close finishing times in most categories, there must have been one long line of bikes stretching from Kalkaska to Timber Ridge.

My History of Foolishness Digression
I used to motorcycle these same trails as a teen back in the early seventies. I often got lost, occasionally ran out of gas. I didn't care. I usually pushed my little Yamaha until I found a house, or someone kind enough to siphon a bit of gas out of their car tank to get me to Williamsburg to fill up. I grew up in Traverse City and I love the area. I particularly liked these woods.

They were often traversed by tough looking hombres in pickup trucks who worked the oil derricks. That's mainly why there are so many dirt roads criss-crossing the area. There's oil, (or gas? I'm really not sure), in them thar rolling hills.

I also cross country skied the Sands Lakes Quiet Area even before it was SLQA. Thank goodness they made it a quiet area because there were those who used to party down on those lakes in the summer, pulling their stinky vehicles right up to the edge of the water. Nice to get those yahoos out of there. As noted, I was once a teen. My beat up Pinto sometimes found its way down there.

Dave
I have a friend, Dave Steffey, who I both hung out with and rode motorcycles with back then. We rode together for years, but it was in that area, due to a particular experience, that I decided to end my era of motorcycling.

I was sixteen and getting really crazy on that bike. Dave, another guy and I were out weaving through the trails. We got on to a sandy powerline (sand is a fact of life up there). My wheel got caught in some wire fencing going from the trail to the powerline so I had to play a game of catch up once I broke free. The last thing I saw on my speedometer was 60+mph. Then I hit a hidden ditch on the other side of a small rise. It was a great tumble--and would have been kind of fun in the way sky diving is fun as long as you know that the parachute will unfurl--if the motorcycle hadn't landed on my foot.

I felt that foot for the next six months with every step. After that day I knew it was time to move away from motorcycles for a while until I tamed a bit. (Dave and I eventually drove that Pinto out to California, but that's another story.)

Eventually I found bicycles. Thank goodness. I can still do damage, but not at 60mph.

Iceman
I like those woods, roads and trails even more now as a place to race Iceman and ride trail bikes. There's an energy to the race that can't be compared to much of anything. It is all adrenaline and sheer fun. The woods are beautiful. Steve Brown is a virtuoso organizer.

The Number 11
Odd and interesting that three of my good friends all finished in their respective categories in eleventh place.

Ben Caldwell, 11th Place, 40-44 men
Mike Belanger, 11th Place, 45-49 men
Dave Steffey, 11th Place, 50-54 men (yes, this is the same Dave mentioned above)

Mike even came back the next day and placed second in his category in the Ice Cross. I think he raced cross bikes both days. Phenom.

I'm pretty sure Dave told me he raced the original Iceman in '89. I think he bailed in the late 90's, opting for the night ride over the course the night before the race. He's back to playing in the daytime and racing like a maniac. I've done singletrack with him and he's a mongoose on those slinky little trails. He just slides through those trees. All those years in our youth on his little Suzuki must have accounted for something.

Other Kudos
There's a guy named Weinert. The name's familiar from somewhere. He came in 1st in the 40+ Singlespeed category, ripping up the course in 1:43:39.

Jay Moncel, another CX notable, came in 3rd in Men's 35-39 at 1:46:52.

Ray Dybowski came in 2nd in Sport/Clydesdales at 1:49:24.

Marne Smiley--racing Pro/Expert!--came in 8th at 1:55:49. Way to go, Marne!

Congrats to everyone who raced this year. Best BumperBike course in the country.

I'd like to hear your take on the race. Let us know how it was.

Veterans Park Halloween Cyclocross

The Costume Race
It is not, I repeat, not easy to be a Sasquatch. For one thing, if you win the race then everyone goes into a long debate about whether you really exist or not. But the worst of it is the helmet itch as soon as you start to sweat. It truly is abominable.





























I guess one way you could define Anne Schwartz's racing ability is to use the word bombshell. She's been an amazing racer for a number of years now. But Saturday, she helped us see the other bombshell lurking deep inside, searching for that moment to express itself publicly.

The Two Wheel Tango / Tailwind Halloween costume race allowed the perfect venue for expression. I don't think Anne was able to perform--on the bike that is--at the level she normally attains due to the augmentation work she so proudly flaunted, but she did have a lot of monsters hanging closely around that rear wheel.

Adrienne O'Day and the USA.


















Wonder who this is? Hmm. DayGlow Orange gloves. Hmm. This is a stark reminder of the dangers inherent to the brain in cyclocross.














Horrrrrrorrrrr! Howoooooollllll! Robert cloned. Invasion of the Promoter Snatchers.

This is cyclocross. Dress up as beer, preferably a two pack, and you'll win the best costume prize. It's a no brainer, which supports the comment I made about the mysterious camouflage man above. I'm actually shocked more CX ghouls didn't do something similar, but again, that's a brain thing and it could have something to do with the close correlation between beer and CX.

Exhibit A: CXer figures that semi-nude on a bitter cold, windy day is a reasonable costume choice. Then again he is rather closely followed here by a sunflower with an interesting smile and a kaleidoscopic harlequin. Maybe Mr. Exhibitionist knows what he's doing after all, hmm?

Mike Seaman, on the left, won the race. But why? Look back Mike. Do you want this in your palmares?


This is one example, among many, of a costume that actually is an improvement on the original. Tom, that hair has to stay. The monkey likes it.








Speaking of style. Anne G. won't go anywhere without Mr. Sunflower. Mr. Sunflower got a little PO'd during the Women's race locked up in the pretty car. Mr. Sunflower went widdle all over Anne's special spare bikes. Sometimes Mr. Sunflower's lips move and Anne's don't.






This is Laura J. Ah, to be a harlequin now that fall is here.


Peco Pontius from Two Wheel Chuckwagon letting everyone know that all those who participate in the costume race can drop on by TWChuckwagon after the race for a brand new specially fitted and personally accessorized SyCip on the house. For everybody. No exceptions.

There was a lot of noise while he was talking and I think the mic shorted out once or twice. Not sure if everybody heard that. The offer was only good Saturday. Sorry if you missed it.

But let's all be happy for the winner of the raffled SyCip, the donations going to local charity.

The SyCip ended up in the hands of the Cat in the Hat. The Cat did have a few performance issues in the costume race due to hat height and bulk in those high winds. But if Thing One and Thing Two had arrived, they would have been in their element flying their kites with all that gustable wind and they might have been able to help guide her to a win. This would look good on the Cat in the Hat's parlmares.

It was a tough day to ride that course, by the way. The all night rain the night before made the course a bit mushy, then there was the long merciless run up the hill and the wind truly was a factor for some.

And in such weather conditions you always get your sourpusses (sourpussi?) who stay at home and close the curtains. They'll be the first ones to say it's...

"Too wet to go out
And too cold to play" cyclocross.

Oh, boo hoo to you.
All those grumblers do is
"Sit!
Sit!
Sit!
Sit!
And they do not like it
Not one little bit."





















Then the Cat in the Hat says,
"I know it is wet
And the sun is not sunny.
But we can have
Lots of good fun that is funny!"

And they did.

Dave Koesel on Bike Snob NYC

Not sure if many of you know Dave Koesel, but this is worth checking out:
bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2009/10/bsnyc-interview-dave-koesel-of-felt.html

The previous Guru article mentioned by BiSnoNYC is wickedly fun and snarky. This interview with Dave is a bit out of character in its tameness. It's informative without the usual bite.

Some of Dave's Ann Arbor background is mentioned in the article. Spelling his name is the hard part. I do the Dave part ok, but the last name is a challenge. I think he should change it to K-cell. That would be much more scientific-like-ish.

K-cell is a great guy. He helped me deal with some of my pack riding "issues" at Runway after a few nutball moves on my part. He did it in a helpful way. No anger. No yelling. It was much appreciated, taken to heart and put into practice thenceforth.

As to the Guru video, I loved the terminology. At one point Guru co-owner Robert Pinazza said, "we're gonna pay homage to the last percentage of the aeroquation, which is the frame." Wow. Aeroquation. That is so technojargospeak.

The word flowfield is also used in a sentence. Or maybe it's two words.

It was all brought back to basics, however, when Danny Knezevici, even with his PhD in Aerospace Engineering, said, "focused on those ones." He was apparently lighting bottle rockets off in the hidden corner of the school yard when he was supposed to be attending his basic English course. (Attn: Guru video editor, consider correcting this in order to improve the verbal flowfield.)

For the record, I do not own either a Felt or a Guru. I'd like to.

Halloween CX at Vet's Park Ann Arbor

Ghosties and Goblins...
Whooooohooooooooo!
Two Wheel Tango is putting on a charity race immediately following the Tailwind CX races at Vet's Park in Ann Arbor on Saturday. This should bring out the true goons and goofballs in the regional bike scene.

It'll cost you $5 to stumble around the course and be eligible for a SyCip frameset. You must wear a costume. No exceptions. Sure, much of the rest of society thinks we're already wearing one with our spandex, but for now step beyond your stretchy shorts into something even more ghoulish.

Jess, a staff member at Two Wheel, did her own version of this race by herself last year, all decked out in her tutu. This year she gets to be a knucklehead with multiple other wackos.

Jolly Pumpkin Ales will also be involved (after the race, though many of you probably wish it was during).

When Where Why How
Date: Saturday, October 31 (Halloweeeeeeen!)
Time: 2:30
Place: Veterans Park Ann Arbor
Corner of Dexter-Ann Arbor and Maple Roads

Be there. Be scary.

Oh yeah, and if you're not sitting at home putting together the costume at the last minute, race in the Tailwind race as well. It's arguably the toughest course of the series and there's a repeat of the pain on Sunday.

European Cyclocross Videos 2009-10

Nathan Spear CX Videos
The comprehensive European cyclocross video website, ccx.nathanspear.com, developed by Nathan Spear is currently down, but it's scheduled to be back online over the Thanksgiving weekend.

My guess is that many of you know about these, but for those who don't, they're low res tapings of the Dutch Sportza network broadcasts. They're start-to-finish coverage (60 minutes) of the major cyclocross races throughout Europe. These include the World Championships, the World Cup series, the GvA Trofee (Gazet van Antwerpen), and the Superprestige (see below for a synopsis of these major series).

Nathan attempted to bring these broadcasts to a wider audience before last year, but there must have been some copyright infringement and his site was shut down mid-season. In the 2008-2009 season he was given the golden cowbell or something because we were able to view and download thirty-plus low res versions of these races, with a final trofee of our own, a full res version of the final World Championship race, including women and U-23.

It was a major coup for all of us who were cooped up late last fall and over the winter spinning on our trainers in the basement. If you know the Dutch language you have an advantage, since these are not translated into English. But to be honest, there's something quite primal and satisfying about watching a race in its homeland and surrounding environs broadcast in its native tongue. Cyclocross is like music in that way. It translates well in any language. We were able to follow the ups and downs of Niels Albert, the continued dominance of Sven Nys, and the struggles of Jonathan Page, as well as follow all the other luminaries of cyclocross, as they blasted over the greatest, toughest courses in the world.

Nathan even includes a number of women's races--often under-reported--so we'll be able to watch Vos, Wyman, van den Brand, Havlikova, and Compton as well. These are just as exciting as the men's races.

Major European Races
World Championship - one day - races by nationality - UCI - begun 1950
World Cup - series UCI - begun 1993 (women 2005)
Superprestige - races by commercial team - held in Belgium and the Netherlands - begun 1983
GvA - races by commercial team - held in the province of Antwerp, Belgium - begun 1987

Keep your browsers peeled Thanksgiving weekend and go to ccx.nathanspear.com (or just nathanspear.com) to find the beginning of a CX feast.

Check this out for a YouTube taste, though imagine it from the starting crack of the gun to the final raising of arms as the winner crosses the finish line.

Trail Love, or Bridge of Sighs

Maxwell, My Stunt Double, at Bandemer Park BMX Track

I took my first post operation mountain bike ride last night on the "Local Loop." I even snuck onto the BMX track in Bandemer Park for a furtive spin over the humps. Every other time I've been there kids are flying on it and I'm far too self-conscious to perform in view of their trenchant gaze. My version was quite milquetoast, but still fun as a cartoonish slo-mo variation.

The Bridge

Farther along, after crossing under M-14, weaving through the woods, up over the infamous logpile, and eventually across Pontiac Trail, I came upon a couple "spooning" (forking, knifing, panning, potting) in the woods behind Leslie Park. They were seated and entwined on the narrow wooden bridge over the steep trench drain. I had to wait while they liberated their interwoven limbs. They were in advanced middle age, so it took time.

The Logpile

I was patient as I watched their laborious extrication. They looked like a pair of aging vines that had been wrapped for eons as they detached from each other tendril by archaic tendril. Rather embarrassing for them, judging by their sheepish looks, since, though surrounded by a major roadway, a large housing development, a city park, and an active golf course, they thought they were somewhere in the wilderness and humans never ventured this far into the depths of that deep dark forest. I would have gone around them and left them to their allemande, but the drain had a wide channel of water coursing below and it would have dampened my Sidis.

The Logpile Up Real Close

Eventually they stood aside, brushing themselves off and muttering to one another. I crossed the bridge and rode beyond them toward Olson Park, letting them know over my shoulder that a pair of bikers I'd seen earlier would probably soon pass their way. I pedaled with abandon through the nearby trails for the next half hour and returned by the same route. I rode unimpeded over the now open ladder bridge, passed another trail rider coming my way, then found the couple trudging up the single track, acting a bit grumpus interruptus by a knobby civilization bent on crushing their sylvan romance. " Oh, you again," I said, and received a grunt and a sullen look.

Local Loop Beater Bike

It was a beautiful Indian Summer day for a ride--warm, blue skies, leaves in full chromatic glee, the heady musk of fall in the air--and at least some of us felt joyous and fulfilled by the marvel we'd been given, if only for a short time, before we retire for the season to the succor of our heated homes. I rode happily along the narrow trails back the way I'd come, my front wheel dancing over the responsive earth.

Ah, the great outdoors.

Mad Anthony Cyclocross Race in Detroit's Fort Wayne

When Mad Joe Lo! grabbed the microphone and started belting out the words to "Crossroads," I thought, yes, Mad Anthony is in the room and laying it down. Who needs cowbells when you've got Joe!









Historic Fort Wayne near downtown Detroit is the place to host cyclocross. It's certainly a great place for madness, and psychocross is as close as you'll ever get without involuntary brain implosion.

It would be exciting to imagine all the battles that took place in Fort Wayne. It would be very exciting. Except battles didn't happen here. It's never come under attack, though it was built in the 1840s to defend against those pesky British across the Detroit River in Canada. Then we decided that the British weren't so bad after all because soon they'd bring us Sherlock Holmes, the Beatles, the Stones, and Winnie the Pooh, so instead of busting head or getting shot there was a lot of musket shining, brass polishing, and general obsessive tidying to fill that time.

It took a hundred and seventy years, but the warriors finally clashed. The lactic skirmishes were hard fought, ramparts were scaled and plummeted over, and many tires were impaled, all in the name of cyclocross.

The race itself wound inside and along the outside walls of the battlements. Karaoke Joe told me that if it weren't for the soccer match going on nearby, the race would have wound further into the extended grounds of the fort. The plan next year is to schedule it after the soccer matches are over for the season and the cyclomanics will have the whole place to themselves. Then the battles can rage from one end of Fort Wayne to the other.

Saturday's bastion scaling began with the C race and a mad barrage of maniacs charging the first hill. These were short climbs, but they required a good explosive prep in the flats below due to the wicked pitch. Those who didn't or couldn't build enough momentum found themselves in full halt halfway up the slope.

When it all sorted out, the winner of the women's C race was Lynne Sienkiewicz, with Lacy Jones second, and Vanessa Stauffer, and the men's Trey Cassidy, followed by Ryan Katulic and Scott Gifford.

I know that Andy Klumb won the men's B race, but I'm not sure who won the Elite women's race. I think it was a Wolverine. I do know that the inimitable Anne Grofvert was on the course, and Jess Bratus was up near the front somewhere, and Laura Johnson found the one stubby root on the entire course to kick her front wheel out and land on butt first.


I slipped away and drove along the river about ten minutes before the end of the A race, so I'm not sure who won, though when I left Vince Roberge was leading by a good margin, Jonathan Card was cranking to get back to his wheel and Jay Moncel was a ways behind them.

Videos & Photos
MattMTB1 Video:

It gives a great sense of the surroundings and of the race. Nicely crafted video.

Go to
picasaweb.google.com/Pulcipher/MadAnthonyCXOctober172009#
for unpasteurized, unretouched photos of history happening where it should.

Also check out Hans Nyberg's Ten Mile Media and Andrea Tucker for really good photos.

Whatever Happened to Punishment Park?

Somewhat Jolly Pumpkin Series
So, what did happen to the Punishment Park and the infamous Jolly Pumpkin series? It deserves a good answer, but it won't come from here. It's not my job to make sense of things. If I can muddy up the clear pond of reason I will do so.

What Happened?
We did have two and a half rejuvenating races. Jason and Ben dominated the first two in the A's. Alex and Thien, with Paul Singlespeed always a close second, capitalized the B's. The last race, a DIRTHAMMER exclusive, transcended racing and became clouded in a lactic haze of attrition until no one was left to sort it out at the finish. No one. What race can ever top that? That ended the series as we know it.

Look Out!
It's time to look toward the future. Rich is building the course or courses of the century. (This is so cloaked in secrecy that even he's not sure what he's doing or if he's doing it.) There are more spoke gnarling twists and turns, more bravado breaking barriers, more knuckle clawing crawl ups, more axle sucking mud and sand, more precipitous off-camber treachery than any one mind, two legs, one pounding heart, and two bursting lungs can comprehend. It will take a year to complete to the satisfaction of Rich's demented standards.

In that year, the glorious 2010, we plan to return with the Punishment Park CX Pain Prep Challenge for those of you who enjoy pre-season self-imposed agony before the weekly anguish offered by the seasonally appropriate and much more official CX series. There are never enough sore muscles to go around. Or go aground.

For Now
In the meantime, ride the DIRTHAMMER on Tuesday evenings and race every CX race you can get your legs to agree to. The more miserable the weather the better.

..............................oRo...

Sauterbilt Wheels

Steve Sauter is to bike wheels as Mel Blanc is to voiceovers, Magic Johnson is to layups, and Chuck Close is to faces. He has a focus he's passionate about.

I spent a couple afternoons hanging around Steve as he built wheels in the shop. As I go over my notes, I realize that my ability to transfer what he said will not pass with clarity through my brain and back out to you. Suffice to say, he makes strong wheels. He's been doing it for over seven years. I am going to try to explain what he does and why I think his work is important.

And why should I, Mr. La-di-da Non-Technical, be interested in this subject you ask? Because wheels are primordial. We live in a universe of interesting round things: sun, moon, earth, the dirty ring around my drain, Dante's Circles of Hell, my miniature cyclical thought process, the glasses I wore in the 70s, something we can all make with our index finger and thumb that means OK, peas, pizzas, gerbil play structures, peace signs, blowfish, our mouths when we say "oh", amyloplasts, nuclei, reincarnation, hamburgers, and...wheels. More specifically in this case, bike wheels.

I like a well built bike wheel. I've had poorly built ones pop spokes on me at inopportune times. It'll ruin any good ride. Even after you true it back to a ride-able state, you'll still wobble about and worry that other spokes will follow the broken spoke's lead and pop as well. If that happens it's either a long walk to home base or a cellphone call for a pick up.

Bike wheels need to be two contradictory things: strong and light. The lighter the better, but strong still needs to be the other major player. That's why Steve isn't too thrilled with the experiments by Rolf and Bontrager to minimize spokes. He thinks that in order to accommodate fewer spokes, they had to make heavier rims, which, since that's where you experience rotational inertia, was the wrong approach. Good stainless steel spokes, he says, have been light and strong since the 70s. A balance between spoke count and rim strength is the best combination.

Generally, he likes 36 rear, though the front can be 28 or 32. And it also varies depending on the needs and weight of the rider and materials used. He's built them up to 48 rear. You can go down to 20 front. Who cares? You might when you're miles from nowhere and you hear that awful pop, then feel the brakes come on even though you aren't clamping down on them. It's not even fun when you're in the middle of somewhere.

Preferred nipples (okay, the adolescent among us can get the chuckling out of the way now) are brass. Alloys can corrode and weaken if Jupiter doesn't quite align with Mars.

His preferred rims, and this is only a general list, are Mavic, DT, Velocity, Kinlin, and American Classic.

His favorite hub is one made by a small company named Alchemy. It's a light, durable hub with good flange spacing and great lateral stiffness. I held it in my hand, and it truly is a thing of machined beauty. Other, more mainstream favorites include DT, Ritchie, and American Classic.

It's the lateral stiffness that Steve emphasizes a lot. I have a photo of him as he nears completion of a wheel he's built. He stands on each side of the wheel and walks around it, with a bounce here and there for good measure. If it can withstand that kind of lateral abuse, it will take just about anything you can bash through and it will still stay true. Can you say that about many of life's experiences? He also talks about radial stiffness. That is achieved with well chosen components for the specific use desired.

Steve can build a wheel in about an hour. The whole process takes a few hours if you include the discussions between buyer and Steve. He works to get you the exact wheel you need.

Once he's determined the most apt wheel and components for the client and all the parts are available and delivered, he first consults a chart that gives him the necessary spoke length for the project. It's filled with numbers that cross reference each other. I tried to follow along, but felt like I was in the midst of a numbers mine field ready to explode my cranial blob. Those numbers get into a lot of decimals. My eyes turned into little x's and then went to blur.

Then he grabs a fistful of spokes and cuts them to size and we're off. He lubricates the threads with linseed oil. He's done enough (about 150 per year) to chat and weave effortlessly. He does all kinds of styles upon request, but often it's the standard over 2, under 1 lacing, the one you see on most bikes. Again, it's strong and efficient. After he gets the spokes snugged the first time, he evens up the tensions by plonking at the spokes with his fingers and listening. At times he'll use his favorite FSA meter designed by Jobst Brandt, but mostly from what I saw, he just plunked away like he was in jug band. Then he brings it up to 110 kilograms tension (120 for DTs) on the drive side as he balances out the other side. There's some nice squeezing of the spokes with his hands, then he repeats. This stress relieving is what he sees as the key part of the process. Everything has to seat and the spokes need to be good and straight.

Eventually, he stands on the darned thing. It's one of those moments when your eyes bug out as he puts his entire weight on it. Then more truing, but it's almost complete at this point. A few more twists and turns and there's your wheel.

There's a lot that Steve does beyond simply the hands-on building. He studies wheel building like a nuclear physicist studies exploding atoms. He's built a machine that tests the stress levels of various types of wheel configurations, and he prints out rather elaborate result sheets that compare those results. He's also in the process of further developing his machine to more fully understand the impact of stress on wheels. Oscar Bustos, the owner of Great Lakes, is all for it. He's quite proud of the fact that he has someone of Steve's expertise to help fine tune the shop's reputation as a major wheel building hub (sorry, it was just there).

At 28, Steve's got years ahead to keep honing his skills. He's studied at the United Bicycle Institute in Portland, Oregon to learn as much as he can about this skill (as well as getting his suspension certification), but he says he's learned more just from his hands on experience in the shop. Except for a short hiatus in '99, he's worked at Great Lakes since he was fifteen years old. He says he was a brat who he would have fired immediately, but they kept him on and he's focused his talent into something he loves. He was mentored by other mechanics along the way, in particular, Dave Nordwall and Brian Route.

Bikes are his thing and have been for quite some time. His mechanical skills take precedence over riding, though he does get out on a spin now and then. He used to be a mountain biker, and he still rides the GT he's had since '97. With the increased family obligations in recent years--a new baby boy, plus a 3 year old girl--he's finding that road riding is less time consuming and highly enjoyable. He rides a CAAD 8 9-speed with stock R550 wheels. "I'm too cheap to build my own," he says with a wry smile.

That shouldn't deter anybody from having Steve lace up a nice set for themselves. Judging by his ethic and expertise, the wheels he builds will not leave anyone stranded miles from home. Of course you could still get stranded if, like I do, you flat with a mountain bike tube in your road bag. Don't do that. It's not good.

For more information go to his web page on the Great Lakes site: greatlakescycling.com/service/sauterbilt-wheels/

Wheel building books recommended by Steve:
The Bicycle Wheel by Jobst Brandt
The Art of Wheelbuilding: A Bench Reference for Neophytes, Pros & Wheelaholics by Gerd Schraner

Contact Steve at 734.668.6484
Great Lakes Cycling & Fitness
2015 W. Stadium Boulevard
Ann Arbor, MI 48103

Ann Arbor's DIRTHAMMER!

Humility Rehabilitation Clinic
The DIRTHAMMER! is not for brittle egos. It will, on any given Tuesday evening, with the right mix of riders, peel away the simpering layers of anyone's pride.

Joe L!!!!!!!! is Partly Right?
Joe--and we all know which Joe I'm talking about, right?--mentioned, in a recent forum, his interpretation of the DIRTHAMMER! origins. It, from his understanding, was begun by Paul Kundrat, Ric Lung, and Ian Lockley, leaving from Northville and emanating forth along local dirt roads. Joe's from Northville. He has pride in his fair village. My guess is that he goes to sleep at night imagining the Tour de France beginning its two thousand plus mile odyssey from Northville someday soon. I'm right, aren't I Joe? Knowing Joe, it could happen.

Well, Joe found snippets of truth in his overexpanding tube of exploding speculations. And half a fact is better than none. And, let's admit it, the DIRTHAMMER! is part legend, part myth, and part delusion anyway.

The DIRTHAMMER! (all caps--as declared by Paul Kundrat) was, in name, Paul's baby. But, and here's where Joe slips down his greasy off-camber hill of truth, this dirt road ride has been going on in Ann Arbor for a while, even before it received the DIRTHAMMER! moniker. And even as the newly rechristened DIRTHAMMER! it originated out of Ann Arbor, beginning from Barton Dam to be specific. So say both Paul and Ric.

Early Origins
According to veteran roadie, Jim Levinsohn, this dirty experience began as an easygoing ride on mountain bikes in the pre-cellphone days. (At first I read it as pre-cellophane and I thought, wow, that is old.) He, Doug Heady, and a guy who is only mentioned in the history books as Dixon wanted a change of pace after a heavy dose of spring and summer road racing. They called this the Dirt Road Ride. Exciting, huh? The regular route of the ride that we now know evolved over time, mostly through the considered attentions and endless wanderings of Jim and Doug.

It has become a route ingrained in the subconscious of anyone who's ridden it repeatedly. In full hammer mode it takes less than an hour and a half to complete, perfect for a Tuesday evening late summer/early fall CX season prep and workout as light fades from the northern hemisphere. The rolling hills are cruelly ever-present and almost perfectly placed to highlight any weakness in the legs of its miscreant participants.

Even in those early "mellow" rides, Jim notes, strange things happened. Dave Koesel fell so hard in a sprint that he was knocked out. He did regain consciousness and finish the ride, but if anyone's come across Dave since (for instance racing a fixie--and doing well--in the Ann Arbor Runway Spring Training Series), this will explain a lot. Paul McMullen, an Olympic 1500 meter runner, rode with his running shoes (truly clipless) and wailed on everyone. Jim and Doug were even chased by a child's remote control car. This is a ride as much known for its imagination as for its exhilaration.

Rebirth
Time passed. Somewhere along the way it lost its sparkle and languished for a while in obscurity. Then, around 2002 or so, a critical degenerate mass reconvened, only this time with cross bikes. According to Paul K, "it picked up momentum with regulars that included myself, Rich Stark, Ric Lung, Brian Rosewarne, Randy Herman, Tom Archer, and others. Inclement weather and darkness were not inhibitors and if you got shelled it meant a solo ride back to A2." Paul, who eventually became president of the Velo Club, considered it the hardest ride the club had to offer.

I picked up on it a year later and I remember regular and irregular luminaries such as Blair Dudley, Ken O'Day, Nick Durrie, Andy Weir, Jason Lummis, Ben & Wendy Caldwell, Jim James, Julie Bellerose, and I'm pretty sure Joe L!!!!!!! among many others, kicking the hurt in as well.

The beginning of the ride has two iterations leaving from Barton Dam, both heading north along Huron River Drive. The first and most common turns right across the Foster Bridge and up the far too soon hellishly steep Country Club Road. The second goes out to the equally unforgiving Tubbs Road climb. Some riders are mercifully dropped this early in the ride and given the freedom to enjoy themselves at their own measured pace. For those who still hang on it's a leg ripping evening of affliction ferociously rolling northwest all the way out to the incessantly undulating Walsh Road, left on Merkel and up a devious little pitch that's dropped many stout riders, and back southeast on Zeeb, Farrell, Jennings, Stein, and Maple, returning to Barton Dam, often shrouded in darkness at this point.

The point of the DIRTHAMMER! is its relentlessness. It builds momentum, reaching not one crescendo but dozens of them. If the pace slackens, it's immediately reignited by those with the freshest legs going off the front, much to the chagrin of those who feel they've just put in the last their own weary muscles have to offer. Whining and groaning is part of the dialogue. It's one ride that's meant, by definition, to repeatedly grind every last ounce of energy out of the legs and lungs, then require more.

The DIRTHAMMER! by any name is an institution in this area. It's a ride that helps racers prepare and stay in shape for the fall cyclocross season, and many use it to lock in their form for Traverse City's ICEMAN in early November.

Whoa! Wait a minute. Maybe the DIRTHAMMER! started in Traverse City. Hey, I'm originally from Traverse City. Yes, yes, it did start in Traverse City. And soon the Tour de Fra...

If anyone has further truths or fabrications to share about this infamous ride, let us know.

..................................oRo...

Tailwind '09 Cyclocross Underway

Tailwind CX #2 - Waterford Tales

Don't you just love the temperamental seasonal affective disorder of CX races? They start out blazing, pass through a mudcaked session or two midway, and end on an ice glazed slipfest in December (with often an even more bizarre heat blast some time in November). If you can avoid getting sick in the heart of cold season, your body still has to contend with and adapt to the fickle whims of the cosmos.

Sunday's Tailwind race at Waterford was Exhibit A. The most notable visual image, besides the blunderplummet Orange Crush flyover (or my favorite name, the Rhinover), was the dust, particularly in the first lap of each race as the packs held together. It rose like a brown LA haze, more in line with a particulated race in the desert than a Southeast Michigan dirt fest.

This year was a break from the past few seasons with its flip of the first and last race venues. Maybe Robert Linden was hoping that he'd trick the gods into an early cold snap and finish in balmy Springfield Oaks in December, but the gods are tricksters themselves, not easily fooled. It was both hot and humid on Sunday and the course was one dry bumpy monster. (By the way, I nearly drove to Springfield Oaks just out of habit.) The sharp cracks of the muzzle loading event nearby were an ominous, yet oddly fitting presence as bikers whipped and wove their way over the rumbling field.

What Waterford lacks in topography and forest was more than made up for with those grumpy bumps, the flyover, and Joe Brown's masterfully sadomasochistic (he has to race on them, too) skill at weaving its lines in any way that makes life challengingly creative for those fools willing to plunge into a CX daymare.

Stumbling over the flyover must have been the ultimate humiliation, since I heard more than one lowly participant grumble about its presence. It must be working in just the evil way it was intended. My understanding is that it was built by Robert Wozniak and it took three trips to haul it from its demented Frankensteinian laboratory to the unwitting course. Word is, and this will be a relief to many who had to scale its hoary heights, it won't come back until Springfield Oaks. Something to look forward to on a bitter cold day at the end of the season, eh?

Keep in mind, the truly demented appear to hearken from Rhino Country (Brown, Wozniak, Linden to name only a few), so cast all aspersions where they are due. I'm not sure if it's something in the water or just a region that, like Australia, took in the most unruly members of society at one time and we now deal with their spawn--where else?--on CX courses.

Add Anne Schwartz to the Rhino list already mentioned, who comes forth each year to stamp her ruthless mark on contenders no less qualified than Marney Smiley and Kelly Paterson. There's something pernicious in those who don purple and yellow.

One exception to Rhino rule is the A race, dominated convincingly on Sunday by Specialized's Michael Wissink, though I see that Wolverine Jeff Weinert did give him a run on Saturday. Perhaps, if cut, they too bleed purple and yellow, but that's only a viscous rumor on my part.

As an aside, ringer Rudy Sroka slipped into the Sunday race to lay claim to top honors in the 45+ category. According to Lake Effect's web site (who let these Ohioans in anyway?), he's "a former US National Cycling Team member, a 6-time New England Road Champion, and a rider for the US National Team in the amateur Tour de France." So, if you got your tail handed to you on Sunday, though this be madness, yet there is method in it. (Quote of Top Bard Bill). I'm sure it's of little consolation to Rhino Mark Wolowiec, Saturday's winner, but Mark has to share the honors now and then to keep things interesting.

Aside two: the Wolverines are the sleeper, beginning to make inroads into the Rhino CX hegemony. Weinert's move there seems to have sparked some intensity into the club that keeps on giving.

Nice opening weekend to what looks like another great Tailwind CX series. Rev up your cowbells.